for trying hard

I'm a big believer in a few things.  One is Jesus!  I truly think that He speaks to us in ways that to the outside eye could appear as "coincidence."  I have so many little signs and messages over the past few weeks I feel like Jesus himself left for me, gentle nods of encouragement. 

Including the one you see above.  It's no secret I've been dutifully working towards a more whole me.    I'm not a big blog stats person, but I will say the stats on my Cheaper than counseling post are pretty staggering, considering the usual traffic to my blog.  This tells me something.  It tells me that maybe you too, are craving the excavation, unearthing, and change into a more whole version of yourself too.  It is such hard work friends.  As we enter into a new year I feel like we sometimes make big lofty goals and expect them to come to life as picture-perfect as an IG photo.  It just isn't so.  Working towards wholeness means looking inward at parts of myself that might be painful to face, spending time doing food prep instead of taking a nap, choosing to walk instead of just sit.  The rewards are also so worth it, deep, holy, and redeeming.  I'll get to this side of the story later. 

For now, back to this hard work.  A few weeks before Christmas break I was walking into work, thinking not just of my health, but of all the areas in life in which I was trying hard.  Not the kind of striving that is overabundant and excessive.  The trying that keeps hope alive and putting one foot in front of the other.  I was praying over some of the ways in which trying hard just wasn't cutting it anymore and I was tired.  So tired.  

As I bustled into work, this little sticker caught my eye.  I bent down to read it and as soon as my brain processed "for trying hard" my eyes filled with those familiar, Jesus tears.  I knew this was a tiny (but really giant) nod of encouragement from Jesus, who sees my efforts and wants me to keep trying, but to also rest in him and not try to reign in my life with effort. 

Friends, I see you trying hard and I'm proud. 

If I could put a "for trying hard" sticker on each of your shirts I would.