I could write to you about the many weeks and months we've spent sitting across from one another, working out the whispers and messages God has dropped into our hearts, both separately and together. I could show you my journal pages, hidden from the social media eye but full to the brim of questions, very little answers, and prayer after prayer for the next step for our family.
I could write ballads by the bucketfuls about the long days and weeks and months of waiting on adoption news. I could speak for hours about the things that began to get our attention during the silence, needs both here in the U.S. and from afar. I could give you organizations and ministries by the list, of people hungry for both food and God. I could tell you how spoiled I feel when our internet doesn't work and I "have" to do something else.
I could write about entering the new year as a waiting family for adoption and winding through the months of nothing working out, yet everything working out at the same time. I could paint you a picture of the looks and raised eyebrows Brett and I gave each other as we started to say "Maybe.....?"
I could do so much but for today I will explain it this way. During these long months of waiting for adoption to happen, my eyes have been opened like they've never been before to the great needs of orphans in the world. I described it in a journal entry as peeking around a stage curtain. Whereas I used to fill journals with BIG ideas and dreams all about wanting to be the center stage star, now when I peel the curtain back and look my heart stops in my throat for I am met with the BIG gaze of so many eyes, so many needy people sitting in the seats looking back at me. I can't forget those eyes and those seats, so many seats filled, if I tried. I am forever changed.
It came to our attention throughout all my research on orphan care that foster care is a great need. We certainly "knew" this before, or so we thought. We had our doubts and questions but as we began to ask the brave, beautiful, BOLD souls who are actually knee-deep in foster care, we found our questions answered, our confidence doubled and tripled, our calling sure.
This week we closed the door with our adoption agency and instead, will begin our journey with foster care in December. We look forward to loving on whomever God places in our home and sharing our journey with you!
This is wonderful news! Congratulations on this decision. I am not sure if you know this about us but my youngest two (twins) were our foster children and are now we've adopted them! So, fostering has a huge part of my heart. If you ever need to bounce thoughts off someone who has been there and been through the system, my ears and heart are open. Again, congratulations! xo
ReplyDeleteAs I read this I have tears in my eyes! This beautifully expresses how I've been feeling lately and haven't been able to verbalize. A few weeks ago I found myself looking at the rows and rows of children needing homes on our states foster care website. Up until then I hadn't comprehended the need fully. Add this to the huge need around the world for so many children and I would say why wouldn't I open my eyes and heart and partake in this ministry. "Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress..." James 1:27
ReplyDeleteGod Bless you on your journey.
ReplyDeleteCongratulations Sara - what a wonderful thing
ReplyDeleteI found this blog by accident (or maybe God ��) by reading through Vintage Style magazine. I also felt called to foster care in my 20s and my husband and I just wrapped up a 4.5 year journey on doing just what you aure about to embark on....and that is loving anyone who would be placed in our care. We have two boys...5 and 8 and they were both young when we began...what a wild..tear-filled and blessed journey it was. We adopted our 2.5 year old daughter almost a year ago and our lives could not be more complete. Reading your words brings all the memories flooding back and we hope to get back into it again because like you...I can't look into those desperate eyes of the children and say "NO". I look forward to reading about your journey and I'll be praying that your journey is as fulfilling as ours has been.
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