Q: How's your adoption going?
A: We're still waiting! (said cheerfully, like it's easy)
Response: God will make it happen at the right time.
I have this conversation multiple times a week. It's kind of like that movie Groundhog Day, where you are just sure you had the exact same conversation minutes before. Please don't get me wrong, I am always so glad when people ask about our adoption because it means that they care. Talking is my love language and you especially know this if you've met me in real life. So the asking is sweet, is kind, is so good in this process.
It's my answer that gets kinda tricky.
The neat and tidy answer is that we were an official "waiting family" January 28th I believe. Since then, we've been waiting to be matched with our baby. As I've shared before, this means we receive information about babies and then wait to see if the birth mother chooses us. Again, that's the easy and simple answer. I'm not able to share more details than that, but I'll just say the process of waiting isn't as easy or simple as it sounds. Not for us, not for the birth parents involved.
There are more emotions and thoughts in this waiting time than I seem to have words for most days. I found a great amount of comfort in an article in our adoption magazine last week. A mama wrote a piece about waiting and described the guilt that can sometimes come with praying so hard for your baby to come. Because she knows (and I do too) that when our baby comes to us, another mama is going to be suffering grief and loss. Adoption is truly a bittersweet process. It isn't "easy" for anyone. Yet it's needed and I stand behind it and pray for as many people as feel called to get involved with their own adoption story.
As far as "God will bring your baby at the right time"......yes, yes I know. I know that deep in my heart because I've never seen the righteous forsaken. I truly haven't! I know that God's timing is wise and perfect and better than what I can fathom. But I also know I don't appreciate sugar-coating things and this waiting is so, so hard. People often ask me if the girls are ready and my response is that they're so ready I have to tone down their excitement sometimes because we truly don't know how long of a wait we'll have. I pray it is sooner than later.
Most days I walk around with a bit of an ache, wondering what our birth mom is up to and whether she's taken care of or not. Because while it might not make sense to some, I already care for her. It's hard to explain how you worry already about your child and you miss them and long to meet them. How certain songs bring tears to your eyes, like Christy Nockel's "Waiting here for you".
It's difficult to explain how adoption isn't just a rosy process and how I long for the world to see birth parents through a lens of love. I pray that you do too.
I've also been asked a lot what specifications we have for adoption and my answer is none.
We are open to anything.
We do know we are adopting a baby, but other than that we trust that God has the perfect match for us.
(my sweet Grandma)
So dear baby of mine, someday you will read this and you will know how much your entire family just ached for you. How much we can't WAIT to meet you! I can only imagine the celebrating when you are born! You are loved already, the diapers are stocked, the recliner ready for rocking. We pray for your birth and your mama. This mama cannot wait for you to join us.