Filtered or fraud? The real Rosy Life.

Isn't this dreamy? 

I quietly escaped to the craft room "deck" (standing room only, it's piled with projects to be) one evening and captured these shots.  I was overwhelmed with the girls and the house and the life stuff that accumulates so quickly.  I needed a breath of fresh air.  I stood there watching the beautiful clouds and saw a heart cloud.  I always feel that God is speaking to me through hearts. I see them everywhere, heart rocks. heart clouds, hearts formed on the sidewalk, hearts in my food. Everywhere. 

Silly as it may be to others, it's my connection to God.  A long "hello" and thread connecting heaven to earth for me.  A string of hearts.  
I stood talking with my real life people at playgroup this week, so thankful that they know me. That when I walked through the door I didn't have to worry about being myself.  I just was myself. 
This blog world can be tricky and quite unfair because I'm admittedly posting my best self online.  On purpose.  It's certainly not to trick anyone or fool you into thinking I have it all together.  It's because first and foremost I'm blogging for myself. 

I know, I know, that goes against "blog advice" that asks you what your purpose of blogging is.  And I suppose that's where I find (over and over) that I'm different.  I'm not blogging for anyone else first.  I'm selfishly blogging our best moments, our most treasured memories, our happy snapshots.  Our miracles and moments.  Because that's what I want to look back and remember. 

We so easily remember the things that entangle us, naturally.  I don't need help inviting the negative in. I want to, instead, record the light, the things that broke the chain of negativity away.  
I've read on Holley Gerth's blog (and in her books) before about our world being dark and adding light, over and over to diffuse the darkness.  It is through this filter that I blog.  Through the brightest, most warm, golden, and delicious light you can imagine.  That's where my ministry lies also. I want to show others how to turn on the light in a very dark room. 

In doing so, it has sometimes tricked people into thinking I'm a constant bright light. 
I'm not.  I'm as normal and human and hormonal and emotional as they come.   Anna Ruth is the sweetest, smartest little gal I can imagine.  She's also two and needs major discipline.  All two-year olds do.  Betsy Grace screams and puts up a fight every time I get within a 1 foot radius of her with a baby wipe, wash cloth, bath, or towel. Or clothes. Or anything that resembles messing with her bare little body.  The girls pull clothes out of their closets rapidly, spilling them onto the floor if I forget to shut the door. They yell no.  I clean and clean and clean more.  I'm up all night with a throwing up baby.  

Are you getting the idea of the darkness yet?  
See the truth is, after reading that paragraph I'm left with the yuckiest, saddest feeling in my stomach.  It's real life for all of us.  It's little matters that feel huge that aren't huge.  I just desperately want you to know how real life is real life for everyone.  And if you know me in real life the darkness rides along with the light.   So, is the Rosy Life filtered or a fraud? 

I'll let you decide.  
I like to thing of blogging as a note written there, a note here.  A song that my soul can understand. 

I want your soul to understand I'm real too.  That I value my real life friends who let me text this "I just hid in the pantry and cried because the girls wore me out" and still love me and read The Rosy Life with just as much respect.  When you see me holding my husband's hand in church, remember we aren't the perfect couple.  We disagree (and do it well!) but we are also more in love today than we were two kids and almost six years ago. We love each other deeply.  

When you see me posting a picture of a healthy food choice, remember there's probably a bag of peanut m and m's tucked away in my pantry too.   That I jog most days but I get tired and need a rest just like you do.  
Filtering the little bits and pieces that make up life onto the blog is like catching sunlight to me.  

I hope that you've bottled up some sunshine of your own after reading each post.  I hope that you also remember how ugly my life is sometimes, how my actions and attitudes stink.  In my real life, I hope that you'll show me grace and respect my sunny message even more after realizing I'm just like you. 

The truth is, we are all thrown into darkness the minute we're born.  Imagine what could happen if we all chased the light (and the One who made it) and spread light and made "This little light of mine, I'm gonna let it shine" our life song! 

Join me?  

{what are your thoughts on this?  Do you find yourself treating your real life people different than your blog friends?}

Comments

  1. Sara,
    I love that you wrote this. Not because I think your life is all "rosy", but because I can relate, as a writer.

    People tend to read blogs and they think we have "IT" all together, when really...we are just finding a few captured moments, when life hasn't swallowed us up, to pour out our hearts, because it's in there and it needs to come out :) It's what we do.

    Do I think you're a fraud? Not at all. I think you're sharing some light into a negative world and there's nothing wrong with that.

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  2. This is a lovely post, darkness and all. I'm glad that you "chase the light." It encourages others (me!) to do the same. :)

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  3. This is just the most beautiful post! And I agree with every single bit of it!!

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  4. Sara, I don't know you at all, apart from blogging, but I want to encourage you to SHINE! You are sweet as pie but even the "sweet" people have days filled with dirty diapers, burnt dinner, unfolded laundry, and bed head that lasts until 6 pm! I so appreciate your authenticity. I wish I had known a few moms like you when my kiddos were little! They are now 21, 18, 16, and 14

    My best advice: every stage has its pros and cons and it's JUST a stage! Before you know it, those sweet girls will be jumping on the school bus and heading off to college. I know you know to enjoy every stage but, in the same way, remember that the hard parts of each stage will go away too and become distant memories! Hang in there! If I lived closer, I would so love to have lunch and encourage you!

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  5. Thank each and every one of you for your kind words! I was a bit nervous about posting this :) You all have made me feel better! I would love to sit around a table with each of you. Wouldn't that be rosy?!

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  6. Friend.... I cannot explain how much you mean to me! This is just so spot on, and inspiring.

    Through this huge life transition, I've forgotten that even though this is a crazy hard and not very rosy situation, that there can be sweet moments and memories peeping through the clouds waiting for me to latch onto them and soar.

    It's a daily struggle some days to choose light, but each day it gets a little easier eth practice...

    I just appreciate your heart so much and the way you see and speak truth into every day life!


    Thanks for this and for being such a caring and genuine friend.

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    Replies
    1. Thank-you for your kind words! You are one of the people I was talking about that I know I can just be myself around, darkness and all. THAT means so much to me! Your life transition may require an extra look or two (or three) to see the rosy. I know it's hard and not fun....perhaps your light after the transition will be even brighter, warmer, and glowier?! (I just made that word up, lol) I pray for you friend!

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  7. I appreciate your "heartfelt" blog. My word for the year is "REAL." So this is a topic I have been pondering alot lately. I thought you did a great job capturing how you felt on this subject. Thank you for having the courage to be geniune and post this.

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