Oh, what a beautiful morning.
I'm happy to say I'm back. Not necessarily as some super-changed, extra relaxed version of myself. But, here. And that counts for something I think. Thank-you for letting me be myself and take a break. This blogging business can be a tricky thing. I tend to press my nose against the glass, watching and wondering how others have it all together.
What I'm learning is that no one has it all together. We are all a beautiful mess.
I only blog during nap time or after bedtime. No computer time while the girls are awake is a rule I follow and one I intend to keep. After finding myself challenged as a parent and running on exhausted, I knew that scrambling in my few moments of free time to simply get a blog post up wasn't what I needed.
So I took a little break instead. Took time to capture some inspired photos, and play around with a new love-Picmonkey (where have I been?!)
I haven't mentioned it yet, but I'm proud to say I'm shooting full-time in manual mode now. No more automatic mode on the camera. I'm still learning and learning and learning. And loving it. Photography makes me feel both alive and deeply settled in ways that other things don't.
These pictures do a few things to me....
they make a lump suddenly jump in my throat,
they make me feel like I'm doing all-right.
They quiet the shouts of questions wondering when certain dreams will happen or how,
they confirm again that I'm making the right choices daily by putting my girls first,
no matter how many times that means I say "no" to others.
I don't know that I even have adequate words to say how enormously responsible and blessed I feel for Anna Ruth and Betsy Grace. They are worth more than gold. They are interesting, curious, passionate little girls who are watching me by the second. They need constant care. They are my life's greatest work. No dream job, book deal, photography shoot, or craft retreats will ever live up to this gig. It feels a tiny bit unpopular to be the mom who doesn't try to do it all, I'll admit.
To say that I've put off exercising for a couple of weeks so I could finish A Rosy Retreat online class, doesn't feel popular.
To say no to plans 5 days a week so I can stay at home with the girls with uninterrupted time.....not popular. In a world of wanting to do more, be more, see more, socialize more.....just a lot of MORE, less seems to be the odd way out.
But, in choosing less,
I'm seeing more.
(See ya tomorrow for an announcement about the starting of my new online class, A Rosy Retreat: Finding the Rosy in the Routine!)