Last week I posted a photo of a painting I had recently completed. I was hesitant to do so because something about this particular painting kept making me pause. It wasn't a new project, I just simply hadn't shared the work-in-progress stages with the internet world, as I would usually do. This time a host of reasons kept me from publishing the inner-workings of my creative process, mostly being that I am sharing quite less and have less time and this painting was for me. An escape from the day in and out tasks that never seem to quit. If daily life and chores are like walking on a treadmill, and uphill I might add, then painting for me is like a stroll through the wildflowers. It reaches a part of my brain that lays low a lot, but never quiet.
This is a peek at the painting "in-progress."
There are at least three solid layers of paint on the canvas by this point and it was the first time I actually thought I might like what I was doing. The stage of two before this one I did not like what was on the canvas at all, just sure I should give up. But, I kept on. Late at night, five minutes here, tired moments there. Choosing to pick up the paintbrush just one more time.
This ended up being my final painting.
I finished and let it sit overnight in the craft room.
The next morning I woke up with great anticipation, almost like it was Christmas morning. I had one question burning on my mind-"Would I still like the painting?"
I cautiously walked into the room and let my eyes quickly glance over the painting. My heart skipped, my breath caught in my throat, and I almost couldn't believe my eyes. I not only liked the painting, I loved it. I almost instinctively wanted to glance down at my hands because the next thought was "How did I do that?"
I later posted a photo of the cheerful canvas to IG and had the most likes I've EVER, ever had on anything. The most nice comments. Three people asked to buy the canvas.
I said no, not for now.
Let me see if I can answer why. This will sound weird to some, but for you creatives, I picture you nodding your head along with me, getting it.
You all know (or I think you do) I keep a running story of this season of my life on my laptop, for my eyes only. Several times over the past six months I've written about this creative energy that hums in my bones and body. This energy gives me ideas upon ideas, makes my heart race at the thought of painting, photo shoots, and creative displays in store windows. This energy makes things like styling a table, making something with my hands, or hosting a beautiful dinner party come very easily to me.
Most of my life right now isn't spent in the creative hum or energy. There's energy all-right but it's been allocated to different areas and that's just fine. I am learning a new type of discipline for chores, exercise, and serving my family that doesn't come near as natural to this artsy soul of mine. Yet still this new found discipline is one I think will serve me well throughout life.
But, to put it simply, this canvas was like I could finally see the creative energy I'd been writing about for months in real life. It was validation to me, almost as if God and the canvas both were saying "See! You're not crazy! There is something different and unique and passionate and artistic under your skin. Don't let it get away or be buried. Keep it alive!".
Maybe later I'll consider selling the painting.
For today, this painting is my prayer and that makes it priceless.