The good, the bad, the ugly, and the rosy.
Well that title just about covers it. Don't you think? Something about the past few weeks have made me slow down and reflect on how much change has happened both personally and in my family over the last year. Meeting so many of you at Vintage Market Days last weekend was the icing on the cake. Sometimes I get afraid that if people only see and hear me online they get the wrong idea about me. Tomorrow I'm going to share our nursery turned studio and I fear you'll think that means our hearts are racing towards being done with kids. No, I'm NOT pregnant, but no we're not done with kids either. Blogs don't show the whole story because God orchestrates things behind the scenes and as the bible says "Mary pondered these things in her heart." We have a lot of heart ponders, not just concerning kids….that just simply aren't ready to show up to the masses yet.
I usually post picture-perfect photos and I wonder if you know how messy it actually is around here? Or if you know that art is what I speak of so often but it's a slice of my life..not my whole life.
I started the year with the message "Savor the slow" on my mind…and with God speaking very loudly into my life to lean in close. What I mean is a year or two years ago I was filled to the brim with BIG ideas for BIG things to happen for my life. Yet I was desperately lacking the inner circle…the friends close to my heart, the fellowship with other believers, the in-love dates with my Brett.
Fast forward 'till now…and the inner circle is good, so good.
I now have a small group of friends I trust and love and who would come over even when my house really looks like this instead of the picture-perfect version.
I don't weigh myself anymore and I feel happy and healthy.
Brett and I are in love…not just an act because we said "I do". Like we really enjoy each other. We make each other laugh. (most days, lol)
We've switched from our regular church I grew up in, to attending a home church…meeting with a few other families in a home to hold our own service.
I now prioritize texting a friend or having people over…to keep relationships going that matter so much to me.
(yikes, we really are messy. I told ya!)
I guess all that to say is don't always believe all the picture-perfect photos you see on the internet. A lot of the not so rosy moments (the ugly ones) happen behind the scenes for everybody. I'm entering this spring just desperately wanting you and the people in my world to see how genuinely real I am and how much my heart beats (pounds) for Jesus.
Sure, art is definitely strong on my mind. I've even had some awesome opportunities arise lately having to do with my art. But it's not like I've strapped an "ART or bust" sign to my back. I saw a man on the side of the road holding a sign that said "Need help" when I was driving to Vintage Market Days last weekend. I was actually stopped at a stoplight and knew I'd be there a minute. Something about the raw honesty of that sign grabbed my heart. With shaky hands I dug out a twenty, rolled down my window a bit and said "Sir" with all the gusto I could muster. He came over, I handed him the money and said "God bless you."
I hope he knew how much I meant it. I drove off with BIG tears in my eyes. In fact, the man and his sign make me cry now. The past year or two, I've silently carried my own "Need help" sign. And ladies and gents, God has sent help. He's sent a new church family, a few best friends I can trust with anything, bravery in the face of fear, new blog and IG friends who cheer me up daily, and a new focus.
If you were to ask me what my life plan looked like in five, or even ten years, my answer would straddle the line between "I don't know" and a list of goals. Oh sure, I have dreams I would love to fulfill in the next few years. But more importantly I want to savor the slow.
I want to say "yes" to the prayerfully considered opportunities that come my way….
and no to the ones that don't serve me or my family well. I want to savor the girls sitting in my lap and wrapping their arms around me. I want to continue thriving as an artist and so much of that happens right here at home. I want to share with you my honest life. I want you to know how much art and creativity matters to me, but that people matter more.
The truth is, my life is filled to the brim with the good, the bad, the ugly, and the rosy.
This blog will always be the place for me to deliver a bit of each.
I shared a prayer with a close friend lately. I admitted to praying "Show me the good things, show me there is good in the world" on the tough days. And God has always come through. The truth is, kids, our jobs, our household chores…something is always there to nag the rosy right out of our routine. But God has shown me lately how when I savor the slow…let life breathe and slow down enough to notice, then God feels and sounds bigger and mightier than before.
My world and life are messy too. My kids fight (sometimes a lot). I let laundry sit out far too long. The floor crumbs could fill a whole plate. Or two. But believe me when I say there is good in the world. Because there is God in the world.
I pray He shows you the good and rosy among the bad and ugly today.
And if you need, simply borrow the man's words…."Need help."
(be back tomorrow with our studio reveal!)
(be back tomorrow with our studio reveal!)