Good morning friends!
I've written this blog post and erased it on purpose because the words in my heart get jumbled and tangled when they try to make their way here. Words, tripping over one another...but still talking themselves into a tizzy.
I'll start here: My Etsy shop opened up about two months ago. I've had 12 sales! This is exciting! With the excitement came a certain amount of pressure I noticed seeping into the cracks of my daily life....pressure to create BIG, beautiful paintings every. single. time. To always know how to market my shop and who to reach and to spend every free minute promoting the shop. Because what if it goes quiet all of a sudden?
I also had the voice of "not good enough" running rampant through my thoughts. I love my art, I honestly do. BUT, I want to take some classes, practice new techniques, and get better. Instead of looking at my art as a learning experience I just piled all this pressure on myself to be instantly better, every single time. My time is already very limited and disciplined, being a stay-at-home mama. So that added with the pressure I was hanging onto for dear life...just left me unhappy and panicked and stressed.
The lightbulb came on when I read this again. A blog post by my favorite author, I'm in awe of.
"There’s a certain amount of pressure for all of us, I think, to be endlessly productive, to create content around the clock, to say big things every day, if you’re a blogger, or every Sunday if you’re a preacher.
Let’s resist that. It’s not how nature works. It’s not how seasons work. There’s planting and reaping and harvesting, and there’s the practice of letting a field lay fallow for a while, allowing it to prepare again to produce. For the first time in a long time, I’m practicing silence, laying fallow, trusting that the world will keep spinning quite happily without quite so many words from me.
I’m going to listen more than I speak, rest more than I produce, read more than I write, say “no, thank you” more than I say “yes, please, and quick, and more!....
Creative, meaningful work comes from a strong soul, one that’s been fed and nurtured enough to be bold and honest and fearless.
So friends, this is where I'm at.
I still have the same dream tucked inside my heart of making my art come alive and to share it with others. I still want my Etsy shop to be successful. I want to host Rosy Retreats. I can't wait to meet all EIGHT lovely ladies signed up for the September retreat!
But those things are the icing on the cake. If there's only icing.....that just leaves a mess and an upset stomach. There must be cake. There must be real life, with no pressure to be perfect. To write well or paint well I must first live well. I must play without taking a single photo. I must silence the critics and listen to music instead. I must worship and then worship some more.
I choose to ignore the to do list and instead follow my thoughts. Thoughts that prompt me to photograph our farm after the rain, to art journal, to create a bug house with the girls, to set up a beautiful date night on the back deck.
I choose real life relationships first,
not my busy schedule and calendar.
I choose lingering at the breakfast table,
hugging the girls extra long,
setting the table pretty for dinner,
picnics in the yard,
decorating with the anticipation of fall...
then the art comes. The inspiration sparks after I've lived artfully in my real life.
With all that said,
I'm super excited to share some quick DIY ideas with you this week! I'll be giving you a peek into my art journal pages which I've started back up again, sharing an easy date night idea you can enjoy right at home, and giving a glimpse into my studio!
Can you relate to this conversation at all?
Sara, I completely relate :) I've been praying about getting off facebook and just going back to writing for myself, instead of "likes". My fear is being isolated. Isn't that ridiculous? I truly want to go back to a simpler way of doing things and focusing more on my home and family and friends, instead of what I'm going to produce for the cyber world. I can't wait to hear about your date plan and just some every-day-things at home.
ReplyDeleteI think there are many of who can relate. In fact, I think this will be the revelation of your generation, chasing that ever elusive pinterest worthy life leads to exhaustion, frustration and can lead to burn out. It creates just the opposite kind of life than the one we show the cyber world. As an artist you need to create from your soul, to be true to your gifts. As a woman you need to live for an audience of One. He will show you the change in seasons and your success will be the success He has planned for you which is exceedingly beyond your expectations. Beautiful post. You have chosen the right path.
ReplyDeleteI completely relate. I want all my pictures to be beautiful, my words to make sense and be enjoyed and all of my seams to be sewn straight, but without that thinking time, the down time all you get is the fluff off the top, and it's the big thinking that produces the ideas that really work and the thoughts that resonate.
ReplyDeleteI've got another quote to go with yours, this time from Ira Glass:
"Nobody tells this to people who are beginners, I wish someone told me. All of us who do creative work, we get into it because we have good taste. But there is this gap. For the first couple years you make stuff, it’s just not that good. It’s trying to be good, it has potential, but it’s not. But your taste, the thing that got you into the game, is still killer."
I'm trying to remember that as I create at the moment - only time will tell if it works!
Absolutely beautiful and so very true. I am a writer and am currently writing a book about creating beautiful on less and budgeting. I go through spurts of creativity with my writing. Sometimes the ideas flow and sometimes they are stalled. We must give ourselves time to rest, relax, and rejoice in what God has given us. Thank you for your beautiful post today. I really appreciate it.
ReplyDeleteI loved your words, they ring so true.
ReplyDeleteThank-you all so much for kindly responding to my thoughts and words! It seems I am blogging about this type of topic a lot lately...perhaps I am slow to learn or else it's a topic big enough that more people need to reflect on it also? Whatever the case, I am honored to share my heart with you.
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