This is my heart's conversation. Anybody relate?

Image from my shop

Does your heart "talk" to you, and do you listen?

It's been a busy place in my mind and heart lately!  

Today I thought I'd let the lid open on my heart conversations.  And possibly see if you can relate!  

A big question I feel like that floats around christian circles is "What is your dream?" and the ever popular statement-dream big! Then dream bigger!! 

Don't get me wrong-I'm the first to run from people who rain on our parades.  I don't believe in the glass half empty.  My eyes are always delighted that I even had anything in the glass to start with, and oh what joy that it's still half full! :)  It's who I am, usually.  

I also believe in dreams. I see junk and my heart thumps a little louder.  I get around a crowd of children and it thumps louder still.  Party/gathering planning, creative arts, conversation and good food, louder still.   My heart practically dances when you get all these things together!  

I know who I am, I know what my dreams are. I'd love to write a book someday.  I'd love to start by having e-courses on my blog for people to take and learn how to find the rosy in the routine.  My dream is to have a special building on the farm for hosting Rosy Retreats, and again teaching women how to find the beauty in the mundane, how to express themselves confidently and creatively, how to jump in with the arts and find healing instead of heartache.  To finally know what it feels like to be surrounded by genuine women, all different but all the same in their strength.  

I'd love to inspire women to say that instead of feeling depressed and anxious-they turned to their maker and painted a beautiful picture while praying.  My heart would dance if I could help even just one say I journaled, sewed, painted, or crafted tonight instead of eating an entire bag of chips.  

THESE are the dreams of my heart.  They're loud, they show up everywhere.  They don't leave.  They whisper, they shout.  They seem impossible.  

I started this post after wrestling with the questions "How do I get this stuff started?" and the biggest one-WHAT if no one cares about any of this stuff the way I do?

And you know what, just by typing it all out I've realized that if God has put the dream there, then He'll provide the people who need to be ministered to. 

I've been letting myself get kicked in the tail with comparison and listening to Satan and the voice of evil. The one that asks me who do I think I am......why would anyone want to hear what I have to say. Why would anyone come to my art days when there's already so many across the country that are bigger and better?

As I've written this, and seen the words on the page I've realized I'm staring at a lie.  I don't have all the answers, but I have my God.  I know that His word is true, Satan's is not.  Words that come to steal, kill, and destroy are evil.  God is life.  My dreams are life.  I'm holding fast to that promise today. 

Thank-you dear readers for listening.  I never want to put up an "I have it all together" front on this blog.  Can you relate?