Today I feel neither here nor there. Not gearing up for fall quite yet, but also feeling the inevitable slowdown of summer. Considering all words starting with "s" seem to have marched into my thoughts today this makes me understandably sad. The slow-down part feels fantastic...but not the changing of seasons after.
I'm a summer girl, through and through. I'm never ready to see it go, even with our sweltering heat. It wasn't always the case. It used to be the brisk, mysterious gusts of wind that swirled the autumn leaves about in an almost sort of dance were my favorite. Nothing could ever, ever top autumn. All other seasons felt far inferior. But along with my farm-loving husband came an appreciation for all the seasons, each for a reason of its own.
Right now summer feels slow, in a ridiculously good way.
It tastes salty, with big, juicy batches of homemade bruschetta dripping off crusty pieces of sourdough bread. It smells rich, as jars of cucumbers are canned into pickles and homemade spaghetti sauce with tomatoes from the garden, simmers on the stove.
Summer feels quite steady, on this anniversary-eve for Brett and I.
Tomorrow we celebrate 8 years of marriage and it is truly getting better and better and better as each year goes on. A perfect couple? Nah, no one is and don't believe anyone that gives the impression they are. But a couple united with God and in love and determined to live a life of giving and joy together? Yes, most days we're that.
Summer also feels steady with almost weekly trips to the library, playdates with new friends, and never-ending moments and slices of beauty and wonder to be captured.
From things close to home, to things in the world, the summer news has felt sad and evil day in and day out. I find that to be silent does nothing. But to "overcome evil with good" by showing up to my own life and the needs around me, by allowing myself to be continue to notice the good, the Godly, the majestic, the heavenly while we're still here on Earth. Well....that does something.
Hearts continue to show up for me, at least once a day. God's own trail of light and love for me to follow.
We've visited the new splash pad 10 minutes from our house and gone to the rodeo. We've certainly been soaking up as much fun this summer as possible.
We've continued to wait for our adoption match, while wrestling with the hard statistics of the hundreds of kids waiting in foster care. Wondering how these two thoughts are related. Wondering what to share with others because this is our journey and we need clear direction from God, not too many voices telling us what we should be doing. So a lot of times, this summer has meant silence.
Sometimes it's meant a quick swipe of tears, when something like a song or quote almost knocks the breath out of me, thinking of our birth mama and baby.
We've continued to figure out the food we cook at home is (almost) always better than a restaurant. I've been learning to eat for great mental health and for how food makes my gut feel. This has been liberating and lonely, both, with much of the mom world chasing after numbers on the scale instead. This has been the summer to say "so long" to the scale. I feel free and alone in doing so, having giving up chasing my pre-baby weight and body. But did I mention I feel free?
We've borrowed extra kiddos for sleepovers,
and started swim lessons for the first year ever. And to my great surprise, they've been a success!
The girls imaginations have continued to flourish and blossom this summer. As much as I'm ready to have a baby again, I am so enjoying these older toddler ages.
We've spruced up the outside of the house a lot and checked on cows. Brett's loaded them for the auction and we've spied a copperhead snake.
Summer's not over yet.
We still have plenty of canning and camping to do, swimming pool time, swim lessons to wrap up, and enjoying the slowed-down pace of summer.
A few thoughts are trickling in for fall-an art shop update, photography sessions, and my first workshop/retreat in over a year. You haven't heard about this yet because I am just now mentioning it. But I hope you'll stay tuned and join us later this fall!
Where are you in this scenario? Ready to say "see ya!" to summer or up for more fun?