Real life with my girls
"You don't know what you have until it's gone"…isn't that how the cliche' quote goes? Perhaps that used to be true (wait-it did) for me, but not anymore. I most definitely know these days with my girls are just golden. There's just not another opportunity in the world that compares to this. Back before I had kids Brett and I did several things that could have appeared to be more "exciting" than spending our days at home, taking our pop-up camper on a road trip.
We traveled to Italy for two weeks straight..napping every single afternoon for hours and staying up late. It was glorious. We trekked to St. John Island, adventuring our vacation away. What's funny though is I don't know that I fully appreciated things and trips and experiences then the way I do now. I'm not saying for a second I have a longing to ditch mama hood and go back to those experiences. No way, no how. I much prefer this. The staying in our jammies kind of days. Warming by the fire, making sure Betsy Grace doesn't try to brush the cat's teeth.
Sitting together, working out squabbles, learning to share and love and give…
this is my slice of heaven on earth now.
So often kiddos are looked at as a job or inconvenience. Not true…my girls have never taken a part of me away, they have only added buckets of wisdom, love (oh, the sweet love), patience, goodness, insight, imagination, and yes, efficiency to my life. I've learned to be quick at the things that must be done but in the end don't really matter (dishes and laundry and basically all housecleaning-I'm talkin' to you!), and stretch out the sweet moments that do. Hugs, book reading, art making, waffle eating, Jesus praising…the good stuff.
Sometimes motherhood gets the best of me. I feel tired, overwhelmed, or inadequate. But then I remember who has been my Heavenly Father from the start. That's not just christian talk. That's real talk. With confidence I proclaim, that I can do ALL things through Christ who gives me strength. I can be patient, put worship music on instead of the tv, hand anxiety over and be given grace instead.
I remember the season before we first got pregnant. I wanted a baby so, so, so badly. I would be at work, or around town and think how badly I wanted to know my little one was right there in my tummy, growing alongside me. I mean, I just ached for a baby.
Then along came Anna Ruth and seventeen months later…Betsy Grace. My bold, beautiful, ornery, smart, adventurous girls. Am I ever glad I get to be their mama.
We talked at home church earlier in the week about how raising children is such a big thing. We are raising little people who will become adults and impact the world….what a wonderful, albeit hard, calling! What a miracle of a cycle….
If you're wondering where the Hallmark commercial suddenly came from that is basically this entire blog post I suppose it's just a thought I've been mulling over lately. I'm certainly trying to be honest about my struggles as a mom sometimes (hello, I'm human too!) but I think a bigger fanfare is deserved for my girls and other kiddos too. I get sad when all I hear people say is they "lost themselves" when they had kids, like the good life was quickly swept under the rug. Maybe my selfishness was swept under the rug, but that's about it. And who are we kidding? I still have to sweep that back under about once or twice or a HUNDRED times a day, lol. But having kids…my girls to be specific…is just heaven on earth. I can promise you I wouldn't have pursued my art or anything I do in my "me" time had it not been for my girls. I used to have gobs of free time and nothing to show for it. Now my art and creativity is spilling over in buckets, from watching and listening to my girls.
I thought I would have kids to teach them…
I didn't know I would have them to be taught myself.