Pieces and pretties.
Afternoon! I am, admittedly, tired today. (if you follow me on IG then you were lucky enough to read my story of leaving Betsy Grace on the ground and climbing all the way to the top of the Chick-fil-a playground to rescue sobbing Anna Ruth today. Proud moment, lol)
Believe it or not, I do actually get tired every now and then. I had to give myself a pep talk this morning that I could go, go, go until about 8:30 tonight, when I'm usually "done" for the day. It is a wonderful busy though, you know? It's not too much or overcommitting. It's having a one and two year old and passions and energies and hobbies. Choosing to do my best and have fun playing and learning activities for the girls, even though it takes more effort and time. Teaching and loving them well. But sometimes, those things catch up with me.
I asked Brett the other day if he thought I would change my mind. We were talking about when I go back to work, which isn't anytime soon. I plan on staying home with the girls and we do plan on having other children someday. And I plan on staying home with them also. As long as my kiddos are pre-school age I'm all in for this stay at home mama business. ALL in. By my choice! But, you all know I do live and dream big. So, a conversation was being had about teaching again someday....which I love and miss dearly (but not enough to have someone else watch my kids on a daily basis), or "doing art".
It was one morning when I rushed to lay some things down in the craft room that I saw these happy stacks and messes and heard God say three words-
"there's something there."
I confessed more than a few posts ago that I was tired of being the planner for my future.
Hence the reason I closed down my Etsy shop, took down my photo shoot information,
and stopped planning Rosy Retreat craft days.
I just needed to "follow my bliss" and get out of my own way. And God's way.....
if you would have asked me a few months ago what my dreams were I would have given you a 10-step bullet point action plan. In color. I had very little wiggle room left over for surprises
and I happen to think God is fabulously WONDERFUL at surprises.
And so it was with this thought that I've been intentional over the last few months to use my gifts in order to give them away. This quote "The meaning of life is to find your gift. The purpose of life is to give it away.-William Shakespeare" sums it up perfectly.
To bless those around me, to take care of my real life people,
to brainstorm ways to encourage Rosy Life readers and hopefully add a big 'ol slice of sunshine to their days. To give photographs away. Purposing to make art and crafts with all the love and grace and prayer I can possibly cram into them....to deliver to others.
Can I tell you I've never felt more?
Never felt lighter, deeper, never hurt more for people,
or loved them this much either.
Never cared on this level,
never fallen this much in love with a passion.
People and art.
It was after a whirlwind of a conversation with Brett that I again, asked
"Do you think I'll change my mind?"
Before I even had time to reference what I was talking about or even finish the sentence Brett quickly said a confident "no." I looked to see if he even knew at all what I was talking about and he said "art? No."
It's in these pieces and pretties of my everyday life that I just feel right.
It's like a bird trying to hop on the ground its whole life and telling itself "I'm going to be a dog. I'm going to run and bark and wag my tail." And the bird being as good of a dog wannabe as it can.....working hard at at it.
But then one day, following its bliss, the bird decides to stretch its wings and fly.
And then it feels a freedom, a love, passion, desire, excitement, anticipation, expectation..
a hope, a joy, a dance,
deeper and bigger and stronger than that little bird has EVER felt in its life.
It knows exactly what it was created to do.
THIS is how I feel.
And that's about all I know.
In May I'll be featured in Artful Blogging. I wrote a story about my blog and included with it will be some of my photos. I saw the title page to my story on their preview issue online today and just about passed out.
Friends, for the first time in my life, I don't have a plan.
And yet I'm more excited about the future than I've possibly ever been.
I don't know how in the world I've come to the place to be included with such CRAZY talented people in Artful Blogging. But for some reason, I'm there. I mean, these other people included are ones I look up to and strive to be like in my artistic life. I can't quite figure out how I've come to stand amongst them.
I don't know what I'll do with my gifts in the future.
I do know that right now I can't wait to get better at photography,
styling photo props,
outdoor photo shoots that promote a feeling (not just portraits),
did I mention painting? (in all its wonderful forms),
paper flower making,
and training my artful eye and mind.
These pieces and pretties will all add up to something one day, I just know it.
Perhaps I'll have an art studio where I can work the day away.
I'm so glad I've decided to show up and let God surprise me day by day.