This.

This.  

This beautiful, stunning, majestic color is speaking louder than ever before. 

This season of life is going nothing like I thought it would, 

but everything like I know God wants it too. 

It's lonely and crying out to Jesus moments,

it's stepping outside in the cold night air and feeling Him wrap His arms around me in a warm hug.

It's going to bed with a heavy heart sometimes,

crying and asking God "Did I do okay today?" often knowing the answer is that I wasn't patient enough, loving enough, or selfless enough. 

It's praying, asking for forgiveness and knowing that even though I wasn't enough that day,

God was.

This season is teaching my girls to have the rosiest, most magical pairs of eyes..

to not just notice a blanket of leaves on the ground and shuffle along the way,

but to get down on the ground and look at the shapes, shades of colors, lines, and patterns that make up the exquisite leaves.

This season is sometimes feeling like everything other than the laundry pile is on hold. 

Yet in the same breath it's realizing that one of my two babies isn't a baby anymore and the other is soon to follow.  It's dreaming and wishing for my own future and yet wanting to freeze time and keep my gals, my little magic-makers, at home with me.

This season is double the work, double the joy, double the challenge, double the heart. 

This autumn is empty and full, all at the same time. 

It's feeling less confident in me, but more confident in God. 

This fall is making connections with some of the most beautiful people on the planet,

that can only be explained by God. 

It's anticipating the winter and tucking in for a rest. 

It's basking in the golden hour,

 knowing that we'll come out on the other side of winter refreshed,

clean, made new, bursting with life.