Filtered or fraud? The real Rosy Life.

Isn't this dreamy? 

I quietly escaped to the craft room "deck" (standing room only, it's piled with projects to be) one evening and captured these shots.  I was overwhelmed with the girls and the house and the life stuff that accumulates so quickly.  I needed a breath of fresh air.  I stood there watching the beautiful clouds and saw a heart cloud.  I always feel that God is speaking to me through hearts. I see them everywhere, heart rocks. heart clouds, hearts formed on the sidewalk, hearts in my food. Everywhere. 

Silly as it may be to others, it's my connection to God.  A long "hello" and thread connecting heaven to earth for me.  A string of hearts.  

I stood talking with my real life people at playgroup this week, so thankful that they know me. That when I walked through the door I didn't have to worry about being myself.  I just was myself. 

This blog world can be tricky and quite unfair because I'm admittedly posting my best self online.  On purpose.  It's certainly not to trick anyone or fool you into thinking I have it all together.  It's because first and foremost I'm blogging for myself. 

I know, I know, that goes against "blog advice" that asks you what your purpose of blogging is.  And I suppose that's where I find (over and over) that I'm different.  I'm not blogging for anyone else first.  I'm selfishly blogging our best moments, our most treasured memories, our happy snapshots.  Our miracles and moments.  Because that's what I want to look back and remember. 

We so easily remember the things that entangle us, naturally.  I don't need help inviting the negative in. I want to, instead, record the light, the things that broke the chain of negativity away.  

I've read on Holley Gerth's blog (and in her books) before about our world being dark and adding light, over and over to diffuse the darkness.  It is through this filter that I blog.  Through the brightest, most warm, golden, and delicious light you can imagine.  That's where my ministry lies also. I want to show others how to turn on the light in a very dark room. 

In doing so, it has sometimes tricked people into thinking I'm a constant bright light. 

I'm not.  I'm as normal and human and hormonal and emotional as they come.   Anna Ruth is the sweetest, smartest little gal I can imagine.  She's also two and needs major discipline.  All two-year olds do.  Betsy Grace screams and puts up a fight every time I get within a 1 foot radius of her with a baby wipe, wash cloth, bath, or towel. Or clothes. Or anything that resembles messing with her bare little body.  The girls pull clothes out of their closets rapidly, spilling them onto the floor if I forget to shut the door. They yell no.  I clean and clean and clean more.  I'm up all night with a throwing up baby.  

Are you getting the idea of the darkness yet?  

See the truth is, after reading that paragraph I'm left with the yuckiest, saddest feeling in my stomach.  It's real life for all of us.  It's little matters that feel huge that aren't huge.  I just desperately want you to know how real life is real life for everyone.  And if you know me in real life the darkness rides along with the light.   So, is the Rosy Life filtered or a fraud? 

I'll let you decide.  

I like to thing of blogging as a note written there, a note here.  A song that my soul can understand. 

I want your soul to understand I'm real too.  That I value my real life friends who let me text this "I just hid in the pantry and cried because the girls wore me out" and still love me and read The Rosy Life with just as much respect.  When you see me holding my husband's hand in church, remember we aren't the perfect couple.  We disagree (and do it well!) but we are also more in love today than we were two kids and almost six years ago. We love each other deeply.  

When you see me posting a picture of a healthy food choice, remember there's probably a bag of peanut m and m's tucked away in my pantry too.   That I jog most days but I get tired and need a rest just like you do.  

Filtering the little bits and pieces that make up life onto the blog is like catching sunlight to me.  

I hope that you've bottled up some sunshine of your own after reading each post.  I hope that you also remember how ugly my life is sometimes, how my actions and attitudes stink.  In my real life, I hope that you'll show me grace and respect my sunny message even more after realizing I'm just like you. 

The truth is, we are all thrown into darkness the minute we're born.  Imagine what could happen if we all chased the light (and the One who made it) and spread light and made "This little light of mine, I'm gonna let it shine" our life song! 

Join me?  

{what are your thoughts on this?  Do you find yourself treating your real life people different than your blog friends?}